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today relationship issues discussions and advice

Serious problem. Advice needed!
We had a phone conversation where I asked her what she was doing after work.  She said nothing.  She asked me what I was doing after work, I said nothing.  She asked me if I wanted to come over, and I said sure. I then got into my car, went to the store and bought groceries, stopped by my house when she called me. She had called me a few times while I was driving and in the store.  I didn’t see that she called. She called me when I was at my apartment.  It was around 6:30. Her side: She thought I was being inconsiderate because she was waiting for me, and she could have had other things she could have done if I had told her that I wouldn’t be there right after work – or that I would be an hour and a half late.  She couldn’t leave the house or go anywhere because she was waiting for me. I told her that after work I was doing nothing, I should have told her if my plans changed so I wouldn’t have been preventing her from doing things she might want to do. My side: I didn’t think I was being inconsiderate because I didn’t know she was expecting me to go there directly after work.   I simply thought she expected me sometime that evening.  I thought that the term “after work” was a general term and could mean any time after work. I thought that it would be ok to get groceries and stop by my house and then go to her house.  I think that I had no reason to think she might be waiting for me at a specific time, and so didn’t need to worry about letting her know if I would be there two hours after work instead of 45 minutes (the usual time it takes to go directly to her house).  If she may have needed to do something and couldn’t reach me by phone, then I think she shouldn’t be upset at me for that.
Views: 5687 | Started By: Mike | Replies: 4

I wonder if you really wanted to go over at all? I mean if some girl asked me to come over after work, my first question would have been "great, what time?" I think she's got a point. I wouldn't have waited two hours for you. If I had asked a female to come over after work and she wasn't around for two hours I'd be pretty angry. Just me, but you asked for the advice, so... Your call. You want to make it up to her? Then you apologize PROFUSELY for the misunderstanding (whether you think you're wrong or not) and you don't let it happen again. Next time you say "Love to come over, what time would you like to see me?" You don't care, then I'd blow it off and plan on not seeing her after work ever again.
Responded: Alex

Yes I could see where she is coming from I would feel the same way, she did.
Responded: Reza

Communication is the KEY to any relationship..just apologise..while you both have a point(noone has to be wrong or right)..however nobody likes to be kept waiting..dont make this a bigger issue than what it is..you now know that giving her an approximate time would be beneficial for your relations..no big deal :)
Responded: NameRell


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